The Upswing

My mother told me the other day that her therapist can tell where she is in her bipolar cycle by the look on her face when she enters the room.   I totally get that.  I used to be able to tell what type of “mood” she was in by the way she said, “Good Morning.”  Or didn’t, in some cases.  When I was a kid and had something I wanted to ask her, I would try to do it over the phone, because her demeanor was so much better when on the phone.  Then when we lived together and worked together, people would laugh because I would come to her office to say good morning.  We knew each other well enough to stagger our prep time in the morning and most of them we never saw each other at home.

I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about this except to say, I find myself on an “up” cycle right now.  It’s like the fight with Frenemy was the bottom and as soon as it was over I started climbing out of it.  I don’t think my “cycles” are as short as my mother’s, either.  Or maybe I’m just pretending.  I have a face I put on in public situations.  (For some reason, I can’t keep that face on at work, but whatever.)

I think part of my problem with my Dad stems from the fact that he has a friend who is bipolar.  When she is at her low point she has been suicidal.  For some reason, my father recognizes her as having a mental illness.  But he thinks my mom and I are just “moody”.  It’s kind of like how he feels free to tell me how great I looked when I was 16.  Over and over and over.  Dude, you looked pretty sharp at 16, too.  Neither of us are 16.

My point, if I have one, is that I’m hoping this is an up cycle that will keep me going up for a while.  Here are some things that are making a difference, or I hope will in the future:

  • I’m loving working from home on Monday and Wednesday.  I’m actually getting some of my lengthy to-do list done.  Every day I’m not busy at work, I get a little more comfortable doing things around the house.  I’m sure this will come in handy around the holidays.
  • I’m also loving my Water Aerobics class – which we refer to as “Splish-Splash”.  I’m about 10 weeks into it now and I think I’ve only missed one session, which was because of a conflicting appointment.  I just signed up for another 10 sessions.
  • When I signed up for my 10 session punch card at the pool, I also signed up for a 3 month gym membership.  This works for me on two levels. 1) It’s cheaper than my previous gym membership. 2) It makes the WA classes less expensive and gives me free access to the pool on days when I don’t have class.  I’m hoping and wishing that I feel the gumption to get up and go to actually use the gym and get sweaty again.
  • The weather is perfect right now.  I’m actually wearing a sweater today!  It’s sunny and brisk.  I love it.  I’d prefer to be out in it rather than looking at it through my window, but at least I get to look at it.

There are so many things I’d like to do.  I think I’ll make a list and actually do some of them.  There are a lot of empty weekends in October that I can fill with fun things.

Countdown to Nuggettown:  5 weeks.

One thought on “The Upswing

  1. What about this weekend? We’re going to Artfest on Saturday. Already asked your boy, but he has classes until the afternoon. We’re leaving about 10:00 a.m. My mom is coming — so that leaves 2 seats if we take the Durango…

    Also I hear yah. I don’t think of it as bipolar really, though perhaps I should. Everyone loves the manic part though. Energy! Sunshine! Every idea is great! Life is great! Woo-woot!

    I don’t believe it’s just moody, but I don’t know if everyone doesn’t have a touch of it. I would not want to be steady state all the time unless that state is manic. Starvation helped induce that for me for awhile. It was a nice feeling. Awake. Ready. Almost literally buzzing.

    But no, my steady state would likely be depressed. The murk. The I don’t care. The big gray nothing.

    Anyway, also loving the weather. Wouldn’t it be lovely to gimp around GR town in it and get our art on? And beer, and restaurants, and all that thar stuff there? 🙂 Let me know.

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