What Works and What Doesn’t

Things that are working well for me:

  1. I have made it to Water Aerobics four weeks in a row.
  2. This is my fourth week without soda. (Diet or regular.) (Yes, I still want one, especially first thing in the morning.)
  3. #1 has made me strive to move more. We’re talking baby steps here.
  4. I’m getting out of work on time. (Although this has more to do with the fact that we’re woefully short on work than my own tenacity.)
  5. My friend gave me her mother’s steel guitar. Learning to play the steel guitar has always been on my bucket list.  Based on the research I did yesterday, I will be 80 before I can produce anything but sound.
  6. I went to the farmer’s market and bought some fresh veggies and a loaf of wonderfully dense wheat bread.
  7. I resisted both bagels and an amazing cake at work last week. (The cake was from a bakery called “Love and Buttercream”.  SERIOUSLY?  I’m salivating from typing it.)

Things that aren’t working as well for me:

  1. Still struggling to not let the job piss me off.
  2. Still struggling to not condescend when talking to my mother. (Even though she says stuff that makes me want to hang up on her.)
  3. I have pain in both knees and my right hip. It doesn’t bother me too much, but climbing stairs has become a real challenge.
  4. I went to the Dr. on Tuesday and have gained 15 pounds since my last appointment, 3 months ago.
  5. She also put me back on Glucophage because my insulin was high, even though my blood sugar was normal.
  6. And she told me that I am nowhere near menopause yet, so the Tamoxifen/Effexor combination is going to be the only thing that I can do for the foreseeable future.

All of this pales in comparison to the one thing that happened and is both bad and good.

The boy is not going to the fancy art school in September.

I am heartbroken.  He is sad but is dealing with it, which makes me prouder still.

He received his final financial aid statement on Monday.  He was excited that he got a couple of government loans and a grant.   But the part I saw was the remainder due.  He was $30K short for the year.

I kept stressed about it and did some research until he went to meet with the Advisor on Wednesday.  That’s when he came home, having pretty much already decided not to continue.  The part that hurt me was when he said I’d need to cosign and I told him his mother has super shitty credit and is currently over extended (and has been that way for the last 12 years), so I could not do that.  Nor could I get a PLUS loan because I’m not ready to add to my debt load at that rate.   We also talked about how he’d be $100K or more in debt at the end and his dad and I really didn’t want that burden for him.

He agreed, also pointing out that he would not have any time to work on his current project, since a full credit load would be required.  The only thing he’s missing is the opportunity to mix with people like himself.  The social aspect was the biggest part.  That and having to tell everyone that he’s not going, when his mother made such a big frickin’ deal about it.  (My mother’s second sentence, of course, was, “Can I have my $100 back?”)

The plan is this:  Boy will take at least one class next semester; either at his community college or the local university.  It should be a class that will count toward any future education.  He’ll research other colleges that can provide the degree he wants and then re-evaluate in January.  Also, he will get his 2016 FSFA application in early enough in the year to make a difference.   For my part, I’m going to solidly work on getting our debt-load down so the possibility of helping him is not completely out of the question.

So…current goals are:

  • Continue to reduce work stress.
  • Be aware of/reduce the “Glycemic Index” of my diet. (Except on pizza Wednesdays.)
  • Move more.
  • Reduce debt load.

I know you all atwitter waiting for the results.  Stay tuned.

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