So…Things are indeed looking up.
- My main excitement is that Boy has been accepted to his art college of choice. It’s going to mean he’s going to have to get Student Loans because – whew – hella expensive. But I am so proud of him for going after this. He did what we asked him to do. He got an Associate’s Degree. Now he’s going to do what he wants to do. And I don’t think it will matter that he’s four years older than the other students. He put in his application for housing yesterday and I really hope he gets it. I always wanted to do the whole dorm/college thing. Wish I had taken that route when I had the chance. And he’s doing this all on his own. I couldn’t be more proud.
- I buried the lead on #1: He got a $10K a year scholarship! That’s pretty cool. It will help a lot.
- A friend of mine asked me to join her water aerobics class last week. It’s a different class than the one I had been attending at the gym. I liked it a lot more. It was more challenging. They have the class on Monday and Wednesday and it will cost me about $15 a week to attend both, but that’s okay. It’s good for me. And Husband has admitted that, while he’d like to have me home every night, I am much happier when I do these things. I skipped Monday because of some threatening weather, but really wished I hadn’t.
- My second class was yesterday at the end of a very bad work day. I didn’t want to go. My friend didn’t show up cause she was sick, but her other friends were just as warm and inviting without her. By the time warm up was over, I was feeling so much better. And I was able to stop eating before I really wanted to last night. This morning I woke up before my alarm went off for the first time in weeks and made it to work early. I even parked farther away from the building. One habit really does help me get back on track.
- I haven’t had a Coke or any other soda since Sunday. I really want one. But I’m not going to have one.
- My morning coffee habit (2 cups with about three tblsp of Hazelnut creamer) is almost gone. I’m finding I don’t really have a taste for it anymore. I’m more into water in the morning, which is better for me. When I do drink coffee for the caffeine kick, I’ve been drinking it black. I do, occasionally, treat myself to a iced Caramel Macchiato at SBUX, but only if I’m in the neighborhood. (Those things are expensive.)
So things are looking up. I am getting more into the groove with regard to my health and that makes me happy. I’m trying to cook more, as that makes quite a difference. I made the most yummy Asian Chicken with Udon Noodles and Peanut Sauce last week. Even Husband ate it. (Although I don’t know if he was kidding or not about adding a can of gravy.) When food tastes good, I tend not overeat as much.
Work has been very difficult for me lately.
I have a tendency to feel “left out” of things when others on my team are in meetings to which I’ve not been invited. Or when everyone knows what I’m working on but I have no clue what they’re working on. Or when I have nothing to work on. Or when I don’t understand something. Basically, I’ve just been feeling like I don’t understand my job very well and people are not trusting me to do it. Which is ridiculous because I’ve had several successful projects wrap up in the last few months and the stumbling blocks we’re having on the others have more to do with lack of communication than anything else.
Yesterday, one of my favorite people in the company hurt my feelings. She’s a Director and is under a tremendous amount of stress. We’re severely understaffed right now and she’s been forced to take on a lot of roles that she normally would delegate. While I don’t report to her directly, she’s still a Director and her respect means something to me. (Hell, it means something to me because she’s just an awesome person in general.) We’ve been working on a project together that has a multitude of problems. It didn’t kick off right. It wasn’t quoted well. The President wouldn’t let me do a part of the job that I usually do, so I got my panties in a bunch and decided to only do what he told me. (I really should have acted as if I was doing my part anyway.) My vacation came right in the middle of the project and someone else had to take over. Then this Director got thrown into the mix in the middle when the President couldn’t make time for it any more.
In the end, we’re getting done what needs to be done, but only because we’re altering things on the back end.
Anyway…Long story longer, yesterday there was an exchange of emails that basically asked me why I was doing something a certain way and my response of, “Because you told me to.” was met with defensiveness and when I attached the email I received telling me to do it that way – clearly stating I must have misunderstood it – she accused me of blaming her.
I started at least three emails in response and trashed them all. I had a good cry about it and let it ruin my afternoon. I thought about calling her to work it out but decided not to add to her stress. I’m glad I did, because this morning she apologized and asked if we could meet and discuss this tomorrow when she’s in the office.
I’m trying so hard to think before I act here at work. And at home, too. Maybe it’s working. One’s never to old to learn, I guess.