Remember This Feeling

My holiday break has is ending well. I feel as though my short time in 2009 has been well spent. I’m feeling that energy creep back, slowly on little cat feet, but it wants to come back.

Yesterday I put away all of Christmas, which includes reorganizing the china cabinet and the corner cabinet in the kitchen, packing away all the dishes and linens and wrapping the finer pieces in bubble wrap before storing it in our plastic totes for another year. (I learned the hard way that candles stay in the house – not in a plastic tote in the garage attic – unless you’re working out some funky Christmas art project.) I met BF and her adorable spawn for lunch (Sushi!!), shopping and a movie. We ended the evening by petting “designer breed” puppies at puppie store. (All this time Husband has been telling everyone our dog is a “Bernese Pointer”. Who knew it was a “designer breed”?) Back at home I felt so good I took the dog for a mini-walk.

This morning I was up with the birds and hit the grocery store before the crowds. Back home, put the groceries away, made lunch and made a batch of cookies to take to my niece’s holiday gathering this afternoon.

While I don’t like the fact that my head feels on fire any time I attempt anything physical. I do like this feeling that I am actually doing things that matter. (Okay, not in the scheme of things but they matter to my family.)

I received a gift for Christmas from my friend that was a book of nature photographs and it reminded me, again, of how much I love hiking through the woods and taking pictures. Even just walking the dog that little bit last night in the (cold) clear night air was good. It was good and I need to remember that it makes me happier to do things than to veg. Rest is important, but it’s important to make it rest and not a way of life.

Holiday Movie Reviews

Since I will not – I repeat, will not – be seeing another movie for at least a week (my ass cannot take it), I present for your perusal a complete list of movies I have seen recently and my less-than-expert opinion regarding the lot.

SEVEN POUNDS:
In case you haven’t figured out the “twist” ending of this movie, I won’t spoil it for you. Most everyone I’ve spoken to (whether they’ve seen the movie or not) seem to find it very obvious. But I enjoyed the movie anyway. Will Smith is wonderful at protraying a person in immense pain. I wish he had better material to work with … ever. I liked the Rosario Dawson character very much. She has pretty good chops. I would definately recommend this one as a rental. I don’t regret paying matinee rates to see it at the theatre, either.

MARLEY & ME:
Okay. I read the book I knew the ending and I still walked out crying. Which is probably why I went to see it in the first place. And I like Jennifer Aniston and I’m fond of McSteamy (although I’d love to see if he can do something else). It’s a nice family movie, but if someone is on the fence over whether or not to get a dog they should skip it.

There have been long lines for this one so I would recommend waiting for video unless you really, really liked OLD YELLER.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON:
I loved this movie. Loved it. And not just the parts where Brad Pitt is naked. The photography is beautiful and I found the narration soothing. Cate Blanchett is a chameleon as always.

The movie is looooong and the middle part drags a bit, but I must say I liked the beginning as much as the end. Maybe more.

Even though it is long (did I mention the length?) I recommend seeing this one at the theatre. Just by the small drink.

GRAN TORINO:
I don’t know how I feel about this movie. The most irritating thing about it was this growling thing that Clint Eastwood’s character does to express his displeasure. They lock people up for behavior like that. And the constant barrage of racial slurs is unpleasant to experience.

But I liked the relationships as they grew and changed and I loved learning about the Hmong culture.

I especially enjoyed watching the relationship change between the brother and sister.

It might be hard to find at the theatres (it was for us) so I’d save this one for DVD.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL:
I am so disappointed in this movie, I cannot explain it. I wish this hadn’t been the first movie I’ve talked Husband into seeing in years. Don’t see it. Don’t rent it. The cast is wasted as a cheap come-on.

SLUMDOG MILLIONARE:
I’m still processing this one. I was both horrified and fascinated by most of the movie, but the ending felt kind of flat to me. I’m not sure if it was due to the story or the audience participation that was going on in the sold-out theatre.

I definately recommend it, though. Especially if you have a sullen teenager at home or if you yourself are feeling less than grateful for life’s blessings.

So that’s the movie wrap-up. I’m pretty happy with my movie dollars spent over the last two weeks, but I need a break or my booty. I think the recreation for this weekend will include shopping instead of movies.

And if you’ve read this far (both of you) may I please remind you of Geebamom’s Movie Rules:
1. Don’t show up during the previews and expect your choice of seats.
2. Don’t take up my buffer seat when there are two empty front rows. (See rule 1.)
3. You are not in your living room, do not talk to the screen.
4. If you must ignore rule 3., please make sure the comments you’re making are factual.

And I apologize to the man in the row behind me for telling him to SHUT UP!

Really.

Holiday Wrap-Up

Well. It turns out that 12 days is not nearly as long as it seems when you throw three or four holiday celebrations into the mix. I still wouldn’t trade it, though. It was one of my better holiday seasons.

The weather was uncooperative and I was feeling a bit fiesty and glum during Christmas Eve day, but I took a nap and once we got to my Dad’s house, I was overtaken by the holiday spirit. My step-mother was recovering well from her surgery, my step-sibling was in a good mood. The food was good (deli trays and salad) and simple and not too much of anything.

Husband and I enjoyed our usual private late-evening celebration. It’s one of my favorite traditions of the season. Just the two of us emptying our stockings by the glisten of the twinkle lights. I suppose it was more romantic in the beginning. Now it is more familiar and warm and safe. Which is just as good as romantic sometimes.

The morning finds us watching the Boy open his presents in the tradition of Santa.  He was thrilled, although not surprised, by his “Rock Band 2″ setup.  Then we are off to our Nephew’s house for breakfast on the Husband’s side.  For the majority of our marriage we went to the SIL’s house for this event but since the birth of the Grand-Niece, we’ve been attending at the Nephew’s.  This year the Grand-Niece is almost two and could not have been cuter (have I mentioned how cute she is?) or in better spirits.  She showed a continued affection for me, but seems to have taken a new liking to the Boy.  The only time she showed any form of fuss was when he was allowed to leave the table  and she had to remain.  (He eventually worked his way back to the table.)  She spent the rest of the morning sitting on my lap while she opened her presents and let out an awed sigh (“oooohhh…”) everytime she peeled the paper back from a package.  It was priceless.

In the afternoon, Husband went to his friend’s house and Nana, the Boy and I went to the movies.  It’s our usual plan and it works.  It keeps the conversation from getting maudlin  – Nana can sometimes struggle with the holidays, even years when she didn’t lose her mother – and we are always too stuffed from the breakfast to have a big fancy-pants dinner.  So, presents/movie/more deli tray and salad.  (This was a request of Boy’s this year and it turned out to be a wonderful idea.  We ate off that thing all during the break.)

This year my mother appended some vacation days to her holiday, giving her a long weekend.  A long weekend that we then chocked full of things to do together.  Lot’s of them.  We saw a movie every day.  My ass was sore by Saturday so she took the Boy to the movies instead.  Sunday, we were back at the movies.  (Holiday Movie Review will be forthcoming.) 

The rest of the week between holidays I spent sleeping or watching some of the wonderful video entertainments I received.  (I got a great stack of music, too, which I’ll be enjoying at work next week.)    I was not very proactive, but I did a lot of thinking and dreaming and planning.  We either ate up or threw out all of the leftover holiday goodies that have been calling to us for weeks.   A person can only eat so many carbs.  REALLY.  The only sticker in the whole week was an unexpected car repair that lowered our bank account considerably.  Could have lived without it but at least we had the money for it.  I guess.

Our New Year’s Eve was spent in the usual splash and splendor.  Nana used her free passes to take us to an early movie (yet again, but this time Husband went so it was an event) and then we went to a local pub for some really good bar food.  We were home by 7 pm and I think I was in bed by 8:30.  It was the beers I think.  But who knows.  I just know I was well into dreamland when the ball dropped.

Today, we followed up with our traditional New Year’s celebration with friends.  They usually have a party whenever a Michigan school is in a New Year’s bowl game.  It’s usually a mellow, casual kind of affair as the participants can be counted on for hangovers, but this year it seemed even more so.  Fewer people were there and the day just seemed…calmer.  I don’t know why.  I had one beer and then drank water all afternoon.  It seemed everyone else was keeping it low-key as well.  It was nice.

So all and all, it was a far more successful season than I had anticipated.  I would have liked to have made more time for my friends, but that is sometimes out of my hands.  As part of my resolutions, though, I want to stop dwelling on things I should have done or could have done differently and start counting my blessings and planning for the future.

resolute

I am hanging out at work alone this afternoon.  Everyone else opted to go home early, but I am staying late today in lieu of having to come in tomorrow.  (I’m on call for tomorrow so anything coming in after 4pm would have me trudging back here in the frozen tundra of morning.)  I confess, it’s a much easier job to do when I’m alone and don’t have several very nice, but very noisy neighbors about.  It lowers my stress level a little to have some peace.  (Now if the guy across the wall with the heavy stapler hand – the one who apparently loves the sound of his own voice because damn isn’t he an authority on everything – would just go home…)

 

My holiday depression broke a little last night.  I spent the evening hopping from one low-rent discount store to another in search of the perfect thing to complete my Mother’s Christmas gift.  BINGO DAUBBERS!  I know – how perfectly trashy a gift for us!  And we have Bingo date on Saturday so she’ll be able to use them right away.

 

All of our gifts are tagged and ready to go.  I almost forgot my Stepbrother entirely.  (I only see him once or twice a year, it’s hard to remember if I’m not on top of things.)  I didn’t get the grandniece exactly what I wanted, but I got her books which are probably better.  I’m trying, trying, trying to keep it simple this year.

 

As usual, once I’m ready for Christmas, I’m looking forward to the new year.  The last two or three years – 2008 especially and the last three months in particular – I have felt so much stress and depression.  I waste so much time just sitting and staring at images on the computer – afraid to do the things I know I should be doing.  So much time just not caring about anything.  I need to be the cliché this year.  I need to make resolutions regarding my health, my finances, the way I treat others.

 

I have a friend at work that wants to do the diet thing on the buddy system.  I will try that, but I need to keep in mind that I am concerned about my own health as a priority and I cannot let someone else’s slack affect me.  What I really want to do is make a plan for me that I can live with.  (Of course, I know I’ve done it a thousand times, but I quit smoking a thousand times before I made that stick, too.) 

 

So, while I am off for the next twelve days (cue choir of angels), I am going to spend my time selfishly looking inward in order to spend my days in 2009 a little less selfishly outward.

 

 

Slouching Toward 2009

Another Christmas Party is under our belt .  Year 17 of feeding and watering our friends.   Each party is both familiar and a bit different from years past.  This year, I have to say, was easier than most.  (No overflowing toilets, no wild children, no pre-party slip and fall by the husband.) We rarely run out of food, but we rarely have as much left over as we did this year.  Many compliments were received and appreciated. 

It is a difficult holiday season for us without Grandma.  Amazingly, even though she has not been able to attend the parties for several years, she has still been a part of these events.  This year there was no worrying about making sure there were enough left overs for doggie bags.  There were sad stories to tell people we haven’t seen in a year.  There was shared feelings with others who are struggling with holidays minus family members.  As much as it was difficult for me to prepare for the event (and thanks to my husband for being the wonderful man he is and making sure everything when off without a hitch) it was wonderful to see everyone and enjoy all the love.

The Boy was sick this year – very unusual – so he didn’t have the greatest time, but he enjoyed hanging with all the younger lads.  People commented that it was as if he were hosting his own party for video gamers.   He has commented a couple of times how his did miss his friend, Jake, who is away at college this year.

Although we haven’t done a count yet, our day-after tradition, it seemed like just the right amount of people.  Many of the usual suspects were missing this year, but first-timers filled in their absence.  I was especially thrilled that my uncle could attend, since he has a habit of avoiding holidays with the family.  As usual, my grand-niece was a huge hit, showering us all with her wobbly cuteness.

The counter is piled high with leftover goodies and the aftermath is down to only a pile of dishes and the keg maintenance.  I am tired, but not overly so, and have BFF’s annual Christmas Chorale to look forward to this afternoon.  It’s always a peaceful oasis after such a busy, loud day.  And I have tomorrow off to do…whatever I want, really.  I hope to get some shopping done, as I have put it off way too late this year.  We will have to see how The Boy feels.  I might be nursing him instead.

So another holiday season has peaked for us.  It’s all a mellow slide downhill from here.  Everything is casual and easy, with the possible exception of Christmas Eve.  My Stepmom is having surgery this week and will be unable to travel or work her kitchen magic so we will be taking Christmas to her.  But even that will be low-key and easy.  Which is just what I need to be able to reflect and think about the year past and the year ahead.

Ten Things Going On With Geebamom

1. Strangers are offering her cough drops.
2. Work has slowed to a pace that allows her to update her blog.
3. She is refusing to think about the Big 3 Automakers.
4. She is prepping for the annual Christmas Party, which she can neither afford nor has enough time to prepare properly.
5. She is wishing her far-away friends could come cause they would enjoy it.
6. She attended an after work happy hour sponsored by her new and improved contract company, and while there proved that she’s no amateur when it comes to drinking.
7. She is clueless when it comes to Christmas gifts this year, but is winging it anyway with the help of the internet and gift cards.
8. She enjoyed spreading her germs all about the SIL’s church Thanksgiving dinner.
9. She enjoyed spreading her germs all about the BFF’s after Thanksgiving dinner.
10. She really wishes she could breath, but is feeling much better than she did last week…or the week before that…or the week before that.

Outside My Head

You can’t live in this town and not be affected by the auto industry.  No matter what your job is, no matter where you live, no matter what your bank account balance, you will be affected.  As go GM/Ford/Chrysler, so goes Michigan.  So goes the Midwest for that matter.

 

I try to avoid thinking about it.  It’s always there, inside my head, but I don’t find talking about it to be soothing.  I find it depressing.  And agitating.  I get mean sometimes, especially when my Toyota driving friends and family moan about how bad the situation has become.  As if they didn’t have a hand in putting us where we are.  As if they won’t feel the pain, too.

 

There is no good solution.  If  the big 3 go bankrupt, we all lose.  If the government bails out yet another company who couldn’t handle our greed, it certainly isn’t going to help our confidence any.

 

My own sad attempts to recover money are running into some brick walls.  I teeter between running up dept in an attempt to buy the things we “need” before I lose my job and wanting to horde every penny.

 

I spend my time trying to get outside of my own head.  I watch TV.  I play mindless video games.  I don’t blog.  I don’t read blogs.  I want fake; I don’t want real.  Real is too hard right now.  I know things could be much worse.  I know that.  I just can’t help but feel these days that they might be, soon, exactly that.

Oh, Scrappity!

Twice a year, I pack a bag and take it and a couple of others to Camp Copneconic in Fenton.  I pay for the privilege of eating crappy food and sleeping in a bed made for a tweener and I get to enjoy the company of a bunch of crazy women whose idea of a good time is to sit around cutting up paper and pasting down photos all weekend.

My Scrap Buddies

 We laugh and giggle and drink and eat junk and talk and talk and talk.  We don’t wear makeup or heels or uncomfortable clothes.  We don’t get a lot of rest.  Some of us don’t even get a lot of scrapbooking done.  We’re competitive and generous.  And, while we’re thinking about our families the entire time, we’re enjoying the time away from them, too.

What started as a passtime has grown friendships that will last a lifetime.

I Feel So Techie!

Last Thursday was a bad day.  The home computer died.  I mean dead.  Not, I can’t get to the internet, but blue screen of death, hard disk error, I-want-my-mommy dead. 

For some reason, I’ve been elected the family computer geek.  I don’t know much and everything I’ve learned is what I’ve gleaned from other people.  The Big Boy, now he was good.  He actually was able to recover all of our stuff the last time our computer crashed.  He knows his stuff.  However, he’s in Arizona.  That doesn’t do us a lot of good here in Michigan.  It becomes my job now.  I do what I can with the limited knowlege I have and this time it just wasn’t enough.

We had been planning to buy a new computer as a family Christmas present this year.  Our old one just didn’t have enough memory for all the photographs I take and all the videos Boy makes.  We don’t do a lot but we want it to work when we do.

Friday evening I let the adorable man who looked just like John Cusak sell me a computer while the young man who looked the very definition of Geek (think smaller, pointer Simon Pegg) set about diagnosing the problems with our old computer.  Sadly, we had to leave without both of them while they loaded up a bunch of stuff on the new one and delved more deeply into the old one.

But I didn’t care because I was out of town for the weekend!

Sunday, upon my return, there was much opening of boxes and hooking of cables until the shiney black beast was up an running.

I think I’m in love!

This thing is wicked fast.  Probably because it’s empty, but still!  And it has these cute little smart card slots so I don’t have to use the firewire and software from my cameras!  I know.  Welcome to the millenium.  I’m slow with the tech stuff.

As if we didn’t spend enough money, (Don’t blame us for the recession! We’re sure doing our part!)  I had to pick up my old computer today – with it’s shiney new hard drive – and with it a wireless router.  Then I grabbed a wireless card for the old PC, now the Boy’s, and a wireless adapter for his Xbox.  Whew!  

About 40 minutes of downloading and clicking and we’re money.  Boy is in his room noodling whatever it is he does and I’m in the office watching “Starsky and Hutch” on Hulu.  Sweeeet!  I’ll never have to worry about waiting for the computer again!

I know I shouldn’t be so pleased with myself, but the blue-shirted man who sold me the wireless gear seemed determined that I would have problems connecting everything.  With one minor glitch regarding passwords, it all came together pretty simply.  I guess I just have a strong desire to figure things out.

That’s something I want to pass on to my son.  I want him to learn how to do things just like I did.  Through curiosity and a need to know how it all works.  The old computer is now his.  He can do with it what he wants and when it breaks or slows, he can learn how to fix it all by himself.

Then, maybe someday, we’ll teach him how to feed himself.

It’s Like the Weather…

…Wait 10 minutes and it will be different.

The nature of our work is so…fluid. The last few weeks have been a flurry of controversy and adaptation, along with some of the largest workloads we’ve seen in months. The last two days have been slow enough to allow us to catch up and be bored.  Now it looks like the work we expect to be slammed with next week is going to be hitting tomorrow.

Up and down and up and down.

It’s actually one of the things I used to like about this job.  But with the new Big Brother watching over our shoulder, the down time I used to spend surfing, blogging and balancing my checkbook is rare.  We’re all about the looking busy these days.

The amazing thing is that I feel more peaceful since the move.  Things just seem more orderly; more contained.  Our team is spread out, each with our own spacious cubes.  (No drawers, but the cubes are huge!)  The boss is far enough away that she has to make a concentrated effort to visit.  And she’d usually rather not.  Which is good for me.

We’ll see if the paranoia and freak out factor catch up to me, but for now, I’m okay with my new digs.