So, yesterday. Back at work with our shiney New Year faces. I was up and at ‘em early, ready to go, ready to be the best me that I can be in 2009.
Until the meeting where they told us that they were not only freezing everyone’s salary (expected) but also revoking the 5 sick days we are allotted, increasing the insurance co-pay, and then setting vacation at two weeks across the board.
Now, the insurance doesn’t effect me because I am lucky and have a husband with awesome benefits. The sick days effect everyone equally and really make me upset because I’m willing to bet that they wouldn’t have taken them away if everyone wasn’t allowed to use them as vacation days. But the vacation really set me off. Really! Because I now have five years in – more than anyone else on this project, including my supervisor – and I would have gotten an extra week of paid vacation for that. Therefore, I kind of feel like I’m getting screwed in ways others aren’t.
Not to mention I know about the raises others got in the fall when we were told we couldn’t have them.
So…
Yes, I AM grateful to have a job.
Yes, I AM better off, still, than I was before we transitioned to the new Contract Co.
But I was still mad and needed some time to process all of this in my head before conversating with others. My boss, however, decided she wanted to get all of us together and poke at us until someone created drama.
Guess who that was?
I am angry with myself for falling victim to her games and I am angry at myself for being angry in the first place. I SHOULD be grateful I have a job. In the Grand Scheme of Things this will make no difference in my life or the way I live it. I am so much better off than so many of the other people I know, not to mention the people I don’t know. I feel like a giant baby.
I just feel trapped by this economy. I feel like there is nothing in my power to change my circumstances. (Which is probably not true. I could change a lot of things about my circumstances, just not many of them include my job.)
It took 12 days to undo the stress of 2008 and eight hours to pile it back on.
Go, ME!
1 response so far ↓
Another Cate // January 6, 2009 at 5:09 pm |
Crap.
You do still have a job, though, right? Remember how happy you were so very shortly ago about getting paid, REAL MONEY, for days spent not working?
Remember the conversation about trying to get past the sense of entitlement?
You had some lovely time off. Wasn’t your holiday nice? How much fun it was bouncing the baby and petting the puppies! Fun. Warmth. Love. Welcome back. ;-D