Probably Doesn’t Have Kids

I heard a report on the radio the other day indicating that children shouldn’t be praised for getting good grades.  I’m hoping their point was directed at those parents who have seven-year-olds on soccer teams where nobody knows who won because they’re still not keeping score.  Or maybe the “everybody wins a prize just for participating” concept.  I don’t know.  As the slow, uncoordinated big kid in my class, I kind of liked the idea of getting something just for showing up. 

I understand that we don’t want to shove our children out into the cold, cruel world without the tools for making good.  But let me tell you something, in my workday life I’ve seen a whole lot of people getting paid just for showing up.   I also think a little bit of praise goes a long way toward getting me to do that thing for you that I don’t really want to do.

I bring this up because my son’s report card came in the mail on Friday.  It was the best report card of his career.  After years of IEPs and planners and conferences, this kid finally pulled it all together by himself.  In a single semester he managed to go from a D average to the honor roll and I’m pretty happy about that. 

One of the consequences, when he was missing assignments and “forgetting” to be organized, was the removal of his “allowance”.    As I explained to him, he doesn’t have many chores because his job is to get a good education.  School is his work and it takes everything he’s got when he’s doing it right.  If I don’t work, I don’t get paid.  The same will go for him.  Alternatively, I’ve given him a raise in said allowance, because if I do a good job I get a raise and so should he.  (The “cash for grades” is controversial, I guess, but that’s how we roll here.)  It also helps him have a little bit more walking around money, now that he’s going to be 15 and all.

Husband asked if I thought he’d be over-doing it by pitching in a one-time payment.  Taking the “cash for grades” a little more literally, if you will, in the form of a bonus.    I let him know that was up to him.  He later told the Boy what the money was for:  because he, himself, had never had a report card in high school without a “C” on it.

I’m not saying we’re throwing cash at the kid for every little thing.  But he’s a good kid and he’s worked so hard.  I love the look on his face when he passes the refridgerator where his report card is hanging.  He’s able to see that good, hard work pays off.  He knows the rewards are more than monetary, as this is the year that he was finally able to break through and realize that learning is fun!  That it can bring people together.

Next year, he’s got a tough classload, one class is particularly difficult, but I know that he’ll be able to look back on this year to give him confidence.

Did I mention he’s good looking, too?